he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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