i think i have two assholes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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