the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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