That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
