I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
