brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize