Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
