I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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