i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
