I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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