Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
