He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You left your phone here
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