i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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