Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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