i was born a porn star she said
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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