Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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