Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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