just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
