I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
