I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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