People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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