So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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