why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
