just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
