Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I am mentally ready for anal.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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