He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
