wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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