you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
