shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
