I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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