"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
