Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
