Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
