She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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