That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
