bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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