it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
