Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
