i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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