if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
