): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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