Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
