the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
