Jerry, you need to find god
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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