well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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