Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We need to get me chipped asap
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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