ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
