I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
