omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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