ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
