I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
