Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it's like iHOP with fire
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
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I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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