Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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