3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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