Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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