So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
