Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize