Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
