I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
