Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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