I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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