so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
