No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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